Fluff Nut's Blibbering Garble

Nothing but a meaningless hate-filled rant - please disregard =)

2010-01-13T04:50:00.001-08:00

Gilligan's Backpackers ... to the staff, the bouncers and the little blonde midget who's so damn full of himself, here's a big FUCK YOU from me to you. Use it wisely, I hope you enjoy. You all think you're so top shit working at a place like that. Well let me tell you something, you may look down your nose at people like me, but you will never EVER be above me. You are just the same average loser working a deadend job like 95% per cent of the world's population. And here's the real kicker, I might be an unemployed bum trying to get my life together and figuring out just where the fuck I'm going, but at least I've enjoyed life. I've actually LIVED. And the best part is, no matter how hard you work, someone like me, who does fuckall for a living, will still be wealthier than you. Does that hurt?? I bet it does. Fuckers.

Driver's in Cairns - WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? Did you all get your licences out of a cereal box? Or are you just southern big city closet-rednecks testing out the simple country life. FUCK OFF BACK TO YOUR CITY. We don't need your fucked up driving skills on our roads - and here's a tip - learn how to use a fucking roundabout you fuckwits.

To the pricks who broke into my cars: I will get you. Seriously, WHEN I catch you, I'm gonna throw you in the back of my ute and bury you in some unchartered Speewah bush. Fucking little cunts.

To my ex-fiance - I WISH I could hate you for the emotional hell and torture I've gone through. I'm getting very tired of having my heart broken and stomped on. I can't believe you could fall out of love so easily... so I was the only one IN love then ? Fuck. Unrequited love hurts. And don't try and be my friend, because that hurts about as much as you telling me you 'care a lot' about me. I'd rather you threw me off a moving vehicle into the Grand Canyon or found out that you were cheating on me with several women and possibly a few men. Anything would hurt less. I've gone through the divorce process and separated all of stuff - erased all physical evidence that you ever existed -- but I just can't erase you from my head and my heart. Fuck I really fucking hate myself for that one. I'm never letting this happen again. Ever. It's gonna take me a long time to get to being just 'ok'. Not hurt, sad, angry or bitter -- but, ok.

To some un-named 'mates' of my ex-fiance - are you stupid?? Thanks for cracking on to me at that party last week in front of my recent and aforementioned ex. I just got dumped after a 3 year relationship, do you think I want anything to do with men right now? Let alone my ex's MATES?!? And since when the hell did you think it was ok to crack on to your mates ex?? It's amazing the amount of interest one newly single female can generate...

So Happy New Year I guess... what a way to kick off my new start. I'm literally starting my life from scratch. Fuck it's really hard. I'm 21 and I've just completely wasted my life. Nothing to show for it. Nothing achieved. Nothing but mistake after mistake. Parties, drinking, dancing, drugs, men, moving, heartbreaks and countless fuck-ups.

Never realised it would be this hard to make something out of nothing. I'm gonna try though. So here's to 2010. To new beginings, new hobbies, new oppurtunities, new friends (because I'm pretty sure I don't really have any anymore) and a whole new life! ...

Contradictions and One-Eighties: a Twilight Confession and a Kitty Fetish

2009-10-05T18:58:00.000-07:00

Firstly I'll get the Kitten Fetish part of my title out of the way so that I don't get random complaints about assumed illegal bestiality relationships with cute helpless animals and whatnot.

I am a dog lover, from WAY back. I love dogs and puppies. They are cute, loyal and come to you when you call them. They're man's best friend.

So when Codye suggested we buy this scraggly little kitten in a red neck pet shop, I smiled politely and scanned the shop for any puppies they had on sale instead. But then Codye stuck his finger in the cage, and had a moment with the kitty... then he encouraged me to do the same (my eyes were still sweeping the shop continuously) ... and then I saw how curious and interested and friendly she was towards my finger wiggling at her through the cage bars... and she reminded me of a little puppy dog. All the other kittens (her brothers and sisters) were as cats are - lazing around, ignoring me and doing their own little thing... poor things - I wondered how long they'd been in there for - they still looked really tiny. Especially the curious one.

That same day, we bought her.

As I carried her in a crappy box with bits of shredded paper for cushioning, I heard her tiny meows and looked at her furry little face and thought "Oh my god, I have a pet". It'd been so friggin long since Bootsy my little silky terrier dog... anyways, 2 months later, and I couldn't imagine my life, my daily routine, without her little face. She's definately got personality, and as she grows and gets bigger, she gets smarter too. She definately makes me and Codye laugh with her little antics - when we need entertainment, she delivers. And of course she can be a cheeky little shit but that's all part of the deal. Her name is Lacey and she is not a cat in my opinion, but family.

Now enough of that cat crap, I'm sure if you're reading this, and you're a Twilight fan I offended in one of my other posts, you are avidly awaiting my juicy Twilight confession.

I am, as I type this, a Twilight fan. There I said it. Yew that was hard. I have done a complete 180. However let me make it clear that I am not the crazed fan who lines up for days to go to a comic con to see the stars, or the fan that has posters of Robert Pattinson in her room and car, or images of Bella and Edward on her phone and Facebook page, or the fan that makes Robert fan videos on YouTube OR the owner of a Robert Pattinson shower curtain... but I am a fan nonetheless.

How did this happen you ask??

I read the books. I have this terrible thing where if I start a book/series, I have to continue it to the end. Otherwise it niggles at me and I dont feel, closure? Is that the right word?? Hmm...

I read through the whole series and found myself so angry. I HATED Bella for a lot of it, I HATED Edward for a good part, and I loved Jacob and wished he wasn't being jerked around.

But towards the end when these little twists and turns made themselves known, and my heart softened a little... I also found myself unable to put the book down. No matter how angry I got, or how many times I put the book down in annoyance, I picked it right back up again. In 4 days I finished the books. And I realised by the end of it that I was so emotionally involved in the story that I couldn't deny the fact that something interested me about the entire series. And then I watched the movie again... and the actors and characters grew on me - I still prefer the movie to the books - but the bottom line is, if there were no books, there'd be no movies.

So here I am months later, a member of Adult Fans of Twilight internet group, and constantly checking YouTube for the latest trailers and updates of New Moon coming out next month. Another reason why Twilight has grown on me, is that it reminds me of when I was a teenager - a fangirl of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and various other TV shows and actors... OC!!! Lol. So I guess it's bring ing the fangirl out of me - and even though he's not yet legal, Taylor Lautner is a huge part of that :) Yes. I have a fangirl crush.

So that is my confession. I don't regret what I typed in my previous Twilight bashing post, because I still hold true with some of my points - the book isn't that great, and the characters aren't good role models or examples for the younger ones at all, but the book is what it is; because these books exist, and are being turned into movies, I will be there lining up to get a ticket - dragging my other half along as well.

So basically I hate cats, and am now the proud owner of one (she is the ONLY exception ever) and I am now a hopeless Twilight movie fan.

Michael Jackson, Washing Machines and going to the Phillipines!

2009-07-07T20:11:00.000-07:00

In the past 14 days, three of the biggest events in history have happened.

My mother's plans to go to the Phillipines for her dental work have finally come into fruition. My passport was approved FOUR DAYS before we are due to leave (cutting it fine I know!) and the reality of finally travelling somewhere overseas is sinking in and filling me with jittery excitement.

The second most biggest thing to happen is of course Michael Jackson's death. It is said approximately one billion people - fans - tuned in to watch his publicly aired memorial service filled with tributes from family, friends and entertainment from some of the biggest names in the entertainment industry who have been close to Michael or inspired by him in some way. As I type this I am watching the re-run of the service on TV. R.I.P MJ ... you will be missed...

Now, what in this world could possibly top Michael Jackson's funeral as being the biggest thing to happen in history???

My washing machine. Yes you heard me. There have only been TWO occassions in my life where I have flooded a residence. The one time (and I really thought it'd be only ONE TIME ever that this happened) was when I was 16years old - my dad harassed me to clean the bathroom because I was a lazy teenager and blah blah blah... not housetrained etc... so he left the house to go and run a few errands and I was in charge of this 'cleaning' thing my dad called it.

So in my Generation Y way of thinking, I thought the best way to clean the bathroom - the simplest and fastest way to clean the whole bathroom was to utilize the bathroom itself in the process of cleaning it! I was a genius!! At this point I was so impressed with my initiative and lateral thinking, that I wondered why my parents (so wise, and knowledgeable and old) never thought to clean the bathroom this way before.

It was perfect!!

So I grabbed my wash cloth and some bleach and some gloves, and turned on the shower head to full blast and sprayed it all over the bathroom. I kept it running while I slipped and slided and cleaned to my hearts content. It was going so well!! And I was having an absolute BALL of a time. So for a split second I left the bathroom to have a quick drink and also to open the door for dad to bring the groceries in.
I thought it would be ok because the water would just run down the little drain thingy in the middle of the bathroom... WRONG. My dad was the first one to notice the water bleeding out and along the corridor... then in a moment of full scale panic it dawned on us both. The water was everywhere - flooding into the bedrooms, the toilet and making its way to the rest of the house. I've never seen my dad panic like that. It was as if there was a war coming and we were moving things into a bombshelter as quick as possible. I nearly laughed - NEARLY - because the look of horror on my father's face wasn't one to be tampered with - as a child I know how quickly a face can change into a "You are grounded for life right after I give you a good yelling at".

And the (now), second time in my life, is today. My stupid second hand washing machine not only stopped working after filling up with water - refuses to drain properly and decided to crap water at the bottom thus spilling all over the floor. Not only that, but it's somehow seeped through the floorboards to the grumpy old lady who owns the trinket store directly below us. Apparantly the water has filled her light bulbs - as told to me by the manager of the real estate who paid me a lovely suprise visit this morning as well as her legal representative in the matter. What peeves me off the most is that she hasn't bothered to tell personally about the severity of the situation. If I had known my efforts in attempting to stem the flow would have been more rigorous - instead I just threw a few towels around the base and tried to make sure it wasn't leaking too much. Now after the suits and phone calls I'm on constant water alert - any dribble escaping the island of towels is stamped on and dried immediately. I'm checking on it every 10 to 20 minutes and I'm pacing the house in a stressed and worried fashion. Not an ideal morning at all. In a way I'm glad I leave tomorrow - Codye can deal with this mess. I'm off to the Phillipines for much needed retail therapy and five star treatment.

So the saga of the Evil Washine Machine continues to haunt what was to be a relaxing day for me today - hopefully this horror story will end in the inevitable destruction of such a craphouse piece of machinery.

PS. I love you Michael - your memory will live on, through your music, in our hearts and in the lives of your three beautiful children. R.I.P the King of Pop xox

Long Live The King Of Pop - RIP MJ <3

2009-06-25T16:54:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning to some of the saddest news I'll ever hear. Michael Jackson died, aged 50 from a cardiac arrest (heart attack).

For those who don't care, then don't read. But I can not tolerate the fools who believe that he molested children.

The two cases of those boys accusing him (Key word here: ACCUSING) of molestation or inappropriate contact were I believe, a underhanded and disgusting attempt at not only besmirch Michael's career but an oppurtunity to get 15mins of fame and a large amount of money.

Michael Jackson was never found guilty, he was never charged - because of the lack of evidence supporting. It was merely a case of a kid accusing, getting in too deep, then advised to keep going, until in the end their own life is ruined from the amount of media attention and speculation. If, in a court of law, they cannot find a person guilty of a criminal act, then I would like to think their justice system is satisfactory enough and capable enough to determine such an outcome. And yes he settled out of court on the second case - the first accusation was damaging enough, why would he want to go through that again? To me it seems the second case followed in the first but was lucky enough to avoid the messiness and media frenzy. The scenario of a student accusing a teacher of un-true molestation/abuse comes to mind. The boy who cried wolf. It happens.

As for the shock of finding out his death this morning, I am saddened. I've grown up with his music - my childhood consisted of Michael Jackson songs blaring in my room while I danced around. I've never ever believed the rumours or payed attention to the media circus that was his personal life. I never bothered with his eccentricness that became him over the past ten years. I never believed for a second, that the man portrayed as the freak, the Wacko Jacko that the media loved to shout, was not Michael Jackson. The real Michael Jackson was in his music. The songs. The performer. I preferred the entertainer - the man who paved his way through history with his music, fan base, concerts, dancing, fashion, and movies. The Wacko Jacko was unfortunately a by-product of what happens to a child star who is SO unbelieveably famous, that he is eventually consumed by it, and mentally changed.

Rest in Peace MJ. You will be missed...

Obama-san Ninja Extraordinaire!

2009-06-20T20:33:00.000-07:00

I have no shame in proudly announcing my admiration and complete and total love for this man. Not only is he a breath of fresh air in the American Presidency, but he is fundamentally a good man. He is exactly the type of man made for leading a nation. America voted right for once.

This latest footage of him can only prove to me and the rest of the world that he is, for lack of a better word: awesome.

Who knew he had in him, the abilities and reflexes of a Super Ninja. Mister Miyagi has some stiff competition!!

JKRowling, Jennifer Fallon, Anne Rice, Stephen King... Stephanie Meyers??

2009-06-20T19:02:00.000-07:00

Twilight Bashing.

WARNING: For those of you obsessed with Twilight and believe it to be your religion, I suggest you avert your eyes and immediately exit this page, because I'm about to verbally thrash your religion and prove that the God you worship does not exist.

Inspired by this article I feel I'd like to throw in my two cents.

Twilight the movie. Before watching it I had known nothing about it. I didn't know the plot or storyline, I didn't even know the main actors or the characters they'd be playing. I just heard that it was a Vampire movie and thought it'd be wicked to check it out. I love Vampires and all that sort of science-fiction-type stuff. Now, the movie was pretty good. I didn't mind it all. The dude was cute, the girl was disappointing (I honestly thought they'd have a character with a bit more balls) but overall it wasn't that bad. Nothing special but still okay.

Then, I must admit, I got swept up on the tail coats of Twilight mania. Being an avid fan and self-confessed follower of Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings I was excited at the thought of following a new 'religion' as it were.

How sorely disappointed I was.

After discovering the movie derived from a very (now) popular novel of the same name, I thought 'Yes!! Another piece of literary meat for my mind to devour!'. I purchased the book and almost immediately began reading in the hopes of completely engrossing myself into the Twilight universe.

I was 'utterly and irrevocably' bored. Like parts of the movie (in which I hoped were added in for a cinematic experience differing slightly from the book) it was unbelievebly slow. The story just dragged on, there was little to no excitement, or adventure. No hint of scandal... no, climax! Even when it did climax I was still waiting for that "Oh my!" moment - which never came. I never once gasped. It wasn't a page turner. It did in no way capture my heart or desire to keep reading. In fact, after I read the book (excluding the chapter from Edward's point of view at the end because at that point I was ready to throw the book in the nearest furnace) I made a mental note to myself to not bother buying or reading the sequels. I almost feel sickened that I added to the percentage of book sales.

It is nothing personal to Mrs Meyers, I just felt her book makes for a better movie than a novel. However even the movie wasn't as epic as Lord of the Rings, or Harry Potter - hell I would even say some of the movies based on Stephen King's horrors were better and more memorable.

The only thing making Twilight a religion are the actors that play Edward Cullen and Isobella Swan. It is just another fad; a cult classic for teenie boppers, tweens, and easily satisfiable readers and movie-goers alike.

I can appreciate a good movie or book, but I cannot stand hyped up sensations that do not deserve it on its own fundamentally average merits.

There needs to be more Twilight bashing - knock it down a few pegs. It needs to be poked endlessly with sticks and fishing rods. Forget Twilight; move on from Twilight - try Jennifer Fallon's Lion of Senet. Read JKR's Harry Potter series; think outside the box with a Dan Brown novel; snuggle up to a Stephen King classic; hell even read Jane Austen if your brain is up for the challenge. Or go to the science fiction section of your chosen bookstore or library and suss out what they have to offer. Don't watch Twilight more than twice, remove it from your DVD player and see what other great movies there are. Some really good movies out there don't have a Hollywood budget, or media backing them up, but still do fantastically at delivering a wonderful movie.

Don't fall into the Twilight trap. Take a step back and see through the facade... it's crap. Simple as that.

Floating down the river like the lilly pad that I am...

2009-06-20T17:29:00.000-07:00

This was a post I did earlier this year on my MSN Space, and I am re-posting or cross-posting it here with a few amendments; that is to say, that I am adding to it. Enjoy :)

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2nd May 2009

Tonight I will be ranting about big brand companies ripping off the little fellas' AKA us. The average joe blow who works hard for his buck or struggles just to make it through to the next week or centrelink payment. Also I won't be holding back on pointing out stupidity in all it's moronic glory; unfortunately it is a curse that resides most prevalently in today's society. buy a fucking clue people... ok here we go.

My opening argument to those companies. Ahem *clears throat*: FUCK. YOU.
... no seriously fuck you all. Fuck the management, fuck the CEO's, the sales representatives, the telemarketers, the advertising both in your face and subliminal.

Fuck the the asterix with the tiniest font unable to be read by the human eye saying "Conditions apply see in store for details".

Fuck you for the hidden charges and extra costs that are in the "Conditions apply" bit; worded so smartly and articulated in Eistein language that the average person doesn't know what the fuck is going on, and before too long is roped into a 24 month contract paying 200 dollars a month for something they don't even know how to use, because the manual is written in Mandarin.

Fuck the salesman who stand in by their little booth forced to hassle people as they walk by - why must you harass me in the street or the shopping centre?! If I want Austar I will fucking ring up that stupid number and enquire. I dont want to be hunted down like prey while I try to walk past the escalators to Donut King. FUCK OFF. I'm not the only one either - the amount of people that try to organise their route to their destination by making a large mental note to AVOID YOU LIKE THE PLAGUE is, I'm sure, in the thousands.

Fuck you all for your greed. Fuck you, for robbing us by night and day.

Fuck the banks for charging fees on SAVINGS ACCOUNTS. It's not really a savings account is it? That's just what you tell people before you eat into their savings every month with bank fees.

Fuck Testra for making prepaid wireless A FUCKING RIP OFF. $20 dollars doesn't last FUCK ALL does it? You bastards.

Fuck Mitre 10 for selling me not one, but TWO fucked up second rate overly priced torches.

Fuck all the automotive mechanics that try to dupe me with ridiculous quotes on my muffler. If I had a dick and an ounce of knowledge about cars, my wallet wouldn't scream everytime I think about you.

Fuck Maccas for upping their prices and making their burgers marginally smaller. The same goes for Domino's Pizza. What, did you think no one would notice your pizza is the size of bagel and costs the same as a secondhand car?

Fuck real estate agents. Which goes hand in hand with the government. When you really look at it, land is free. Or should be. But no the government stakes a claim on it, then tries to sell it back to us for fucked up prices. GET FUCKED. Land belongs to the mother earth. Not the government.

Fuck the fancy hotel that need you to provide credit card details to book a room, and then proceed to charge your card 100 dollars deposit even after you've expressly asked them that if they were going to charge your credit card there'd be fuck-all money on there if at all. I have the cash in one hundred dollar bills and all the necessary ID, what the fuck do you want a deposit charged on my credit card for? To inconvenience the fuck outta me I'm sure. But thank you, however, for charging it anyways and finding out what I already told you two seconds beforehand. Not only did you royally piss me off, but you embarassed yourself as well; I now know how you landed this job - it's not your outstanding wit and intelligence or your knack for spotting the obvious, it's because you're giving the manager blow jobs on your smoko breaks; taking sloppy seconds to his unsatisfied, over-the-hill, gold digging trophy wife. Congratulations darlin', you're a complete fucktard.

Fuck the police. Especially in Kuranda and Mareeba. Haven't you got anything better to do than to book a 21 year old for driving on a suspended licence? What about all the drug dealers and growers out there? The pedophiles, the rapists, the theives and fraudsters. The bashings and alcohol-related violence in town. There are a fuck load of people I know who break the law FOR A LIVING and yet I seem to see more of the cops than they ever have. Discriminating fucks.

Fuck the Aussies who claim that Australia is not a racist country. Whether you're conscious of it or not, racism is just about everywhere. We might be a country born of multi-cultural roots and international immigrants, but that's an advertising campaign for the mainstream white societies of Australia to continually promote in an attempt to uphold their footing on moral ground. All smoke and no fire. Where in any mainstream forms of media and entertainment and politics, is this attitude of multi-culturalism represented? On TV I have yet to see an Asian or Aboriginal news presenter or reporter. Home and Away and Neighbours is looking pretty white to me. There is little to no indication (if a foreigner was to watch our TV) that there are any Aboriginals, Kiwi's, Pacific Islanders, Torres Strait Islanders, Asians, Lebanese, Japanese, Koreans, Indians, Papua New Guineans etc and if you do see them on TV, it's usually some documentary on ABC or SBS that only a handful of people watch anyway. I'm sick of caucasion TV, I thought colour came in decades ago?

Fuck the nasty fucks who yell and spit at Japanese tourists on bicycles. If it wasn't for their business, their money, and their tourism, Cairns would just be another TOWNSVILLE; or worse, Mareeba. They are the most humble and polite tourists of all. You wanna spit on a tourist on a bike - make sure they're American.

Fuck the hardcore cyclists who ride their bicycle on the side of the highway. YOU ARE NOT A CAR. What the fuck is wrong with you?! The space between the lane and the grass is so fucking small. You are accidents waiting to happen. I've seen cunts up at Copperlode flying down IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD at 80kms in the opposite direction to me - imagine my horror, driving my ute going about 60kms, and seconds later this cyclist whizzes around the corner in the middle of the road - SHITS HIMSELF - and swiftly moves back into his lane. He could've ended up folded into my bullbar. Grow a fucking brain. Buy an exersize bike, or ride in a park somewhere and do doughies multiple times. Walk up the Red Arrow. Ride your bike through the botanical gardens or at Centenary Lakes. Fucking Morons.

Fuck you all. It's because of this need for greed and commercialism, red tape bullshit and plain ole' homemade STUPIDITY that's finally undoing the world. Maybe mother nature is finally tired of us, karma is finally coming back at us - the universe is finally getting even with us. I'm not sure what it is, but what I can say is - FUCK YOU ALL.

Thank you.

Times they are a changin'...

2009-06-11T22:13:00.000-07:00

Another old entry from my old Space at MSN. Enjoy :)

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27th November 2008

Guess the song: "If it's a broken part, replace it. If it's a broken arm then brace it. If it's a broken heart then face it... and hold your own, know your name, and go your own way"

Many thanks to my own personal slave DJ miss Jennifer Kimmeh *bows gracefully* may your random chillout songs grace my PS3 for many years to come.

So it's been a very very VERY long time since my last entry. *Checks the date* If I had left it a few more weeks it would've been a full year. The only reason I remembered this place existed was because of a Miss Rochelle who randomly messaged me - a gentle prod of a reminder if you will.

The times have and are indeed changing. People getting rich while others get poorer. Cars and plane accidents, while the newest models of car designs are being created and invented. This country wanting to bomb that country, while other feuds have come to certain agreements. People dying, others living. The times are always changing.

Change. You cannot stop change. You cannot prevent it. Try as you might change is just another part of life. You can only embrace it and hope for the best. Sometimes whether we realise it or not; whether we admit it or not, change can be healthy for us just as it could be unhealthy. It's all about the choices we make whether they are conscious descisions or not, every choice we make changes something in our life. Some aspect of it is affected.

I was reading in the news today about a father in South Africa locking up his own son in a basement for half his life, entrapping him in a made-up world. The boys' only reality was this basement and whatever things and trinkets his father exposed him to. What I find interesting is that his father only let him watch security tapes and videos of World War II. Was this perhaps the father's attempt of living in the past? Of preserving it through his son? The boys' knowledge would only be of those tapes constantly playing, burnt forever in his memory and his knowledge. As far as he might know, thats what the world really is. That could be what's happening outside. Was this a sick attempt to ignore change and preserve it through another human being in some sort of man-made fantasy world in his basement?
This is probably an example of extreme prevention of change. But there are so many other attempts in the world, by people, community groups and governments whose sole aim is to prevent change and preserve tradition.

Religious groups for example will hear nothing of homosexualism, sex before marriage or in the case of the Catholics; protected sex. They protest vigilantly against abortion, or womens rights (in the case of some Muslim or Hindu religions - or even those Religious cults which have men in polygamous relationships) and other issues that were relatively frowned upon a good fifty years or more ago. What these groups fail to realise is that change is inevitable. Evolution, growth, open mindedness, free thinking and the development of the human mind, body and spirit are things that happen and are happening all the time. These things are out of our control. Attitutdes have changed, logic has been realised, accepted and utilised to better our world and ourselves as people.

To prevent change is to procure ignorance. It encourages needless arrogance, hate and senseless violence. Black, white, man, woman, catholic, muslim, straight, bisexual, transexual, homosexual... it doesnt matter in the end!! In the end we're all HOMO anyway - homosapiens that is. Ahem.

I suppose that's change on a wordly scale.

What about change on the homefront? Personal changes. I'm in need of a change. I'm one of those people who likes change alot to the point where it is necessary to make life interesting. Some people are comfortable and prefer very little change in their lives. I figure those people must either know what they want and are on their way to getting it; or they've already got it and are happy to sit back and relax... smelling the roses and the manure along the way.

I on the other hand have yet to figure out what I want. Like I'm in Supre or Valley Girl trying on millions of different outfits until I find the ones that are sort of what I like and want , and will buy it anyway because I liked the look of it. Then I take it home wear it a few times, and realise the dress isn't that great and its not really what I wanted. So I stop wearing it. I get the urge to go back and see if I can find another dress. A better dress. THE dress I've been waiting and wanting forever for! I dont really know what it looks like, I have no idea if it'll fit me or not, but I just know that when I do find that one dress, it'll be the one.

I dunno why I used the dress metaphor but I suupose it's the only one I could come up with. I try new jobs take a chance with people as friends and acquaintances and I try it all out because it looks good. The job was good, the new place was good. Then after a bit I realise it's not the job for me. Like the dress I can't see myself in for the rest of my life. The feeling of regret, that I made another wrong choice settles in and the urge to find a new job, a new place (a new dress) is back in full force.

I need a change. I wanna go somewhere. Do something. I'm craving change. I need it to find out exactly what I'm meant to do. To give myself purpose. If I dont sift through all the bad choices; the bad changes; how will I recognise the good ones? I'm gonna go back in that damn shop and continue my search for that bloody dress!

A letter to no one in particular...

2009-06-10T22:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Insufferable Pawns of the Government (i.e the administration in the Mareeba Courthouse and the moronic redneck excuses that pass for police officers);

I just recieved today, my official letter in the mail concerning my driving infrigement and the ways in which I am to pay you. I must also thank you for mentioning in the letter, that I have until the 18th of June 2009 to pay my infrigement fine of $350. How thoughtful and convenient of you to have my letter arrive in my mailbox no more than seven days before the due date.

This is the second time you have sent me vital information regarding the payment of my infrigements a week before the due date. Which leaves me wondering, are you all handicapped in some way? Is there some form of mental retardation that prevents you from mailing a letter a month before the due date of payment? All you have to do is print, fold, lick and send. I'm sure there are millions of 5 year olds out there who do that on a daily basis just for fun. I have many other copies of infringement letters from Cairns sent to me 28days in advance just to let me know that I have 28 days to make a move and shimmy some money their way or incur they're wrath of law enforcement.

I would also have you know that I am currently an unemployed bum who finds it very difficult indeed to wave around $350 on a whim let alone scratching my arse with 20cents. (Although a 50cent coin would be much more efficient in butt-scratching, but even those are hard to come by).

In light of these recent events I will be gracing the Mareeba courthouse with my presence to investigate these matters further. I will be armed - using multi-syllable words, and para-phrasing senteces left, right and centre in a tirade of intelligent abuse. I fear the idiots you hire, the ones who couldn't secure a real administration job in the 'Big Smoke' will be falling over themselves trying to shut me up before their tiny little brains implode, whilst absorbing too much information in a futile attempt to expand their IQ.

I can't wait to calmly discuss this with you later on today.

Sincerely,

Miss Cheevius.

Pass the duch...

2009-06-04T19:36:00.000-07:00

"Legalize it, don't criticize it..."

The legalisation of marijuana has always been a hot topic of debate. Especially in recent light of the Global Financial Crisis.

Those who are against it are usually non-smokers or religious zealots. Their side of the argument is that it's is, fundamentally a drug. It is detrimental to our mental and physical health. I'm sure there's some more crap in there about health and statistics blah blah blah... throw in something about how immoral it is... sigh... and these are probably the same idiots who want to prevent stem cell research and obstruct the progession of medical science.

Now for those of you playing at home, I am an avid fan of non-smoking. Cigarettes and marijuana. I am firm believer of trying anything once, or once in a while. I don't believe in excess or addictions. Once you're addicted to something or need something in excessive amounts you've lost the battle.

However, I am on the otherside of the debate. I am all for the legalisation of marijuana. I think that if the government taxes and controls the sale of it, that there is millions - perhaps even billions of dollars to be made, and therefore save our sorry arses from the GFC.

Marijuana is no different from cigarettes and alcohol. In fact alcohol is more dangerous. You hear more about alcohol-related violence and alcohol-related driving incidents than any drug out there. But let us not forget or sugar-coat the fact that alcohol is also a drug. You still risk addiction and it affects you both mentally and physically. In fact now that I think about it, the most addictive of the three, is proabably cigarettes. I know for a fact that a lot of people who smoke marijuana, always smoke it in conjuction with cigarettes - "spin" as it is referred to. I believe that it is the combination of nicotine and the relaxed feeling of the marijuana that entices people into an addiction. I have never heard of, or witnessed anyone in the 'stoned' state of mind to become violent or agreesive. In fact all I've ever observed is that people either get very sleepy or very hungry or both.

What about the mental and physical affects of long-term use of the drug?? Well from what I've found there's contridicting "evidence" and "statistics". I found one link to a news report saying that Marijuana is linked to the cause of cancer, then another link saying that Marijuana fights cancer. Basically the same half-arsed supported studies that are done on alcohol. Beer is good for you, oh wait no it isn't it can cause cancer, but wait, it can also reduce heart attacks... now all you gotta do is figure out if you want a heart attack or reduced cancer.

Now I know if there are any dealers out there whose sole income relies on the drug industry, they'd be shitting themselves. Marijuana is THE most easily accessible 'illegal drug' out there. And because it is so easily accessible it is also, arguable the most popular and most used drug by the majority of people. And trust me, for all of those little straighty-non-smokers out there, there is a frikken lot of people out there who smoke. The thing I've noticed however, is they're all normal hard-working people. A lot of them go to work, and bust their arse, then come home and smoke it to relax and wind down. Just like anyone else who has a cigarette if they're stressed, or a beer after work.

So the way I see it, the only thing really preventing the legalisation of marijuana is the prejudiced opinions of self-righteous straighty-non-smokers and the imaginary red-tape enforcing their side of the debate to make them look socially and morally admirable to the Christian/Catholic members of society, who effectively and underhandedly run our world.

Marijuana: don't knock it till you've tried it.

The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round...

2009-06-02T22:05:00.000-07:00

"We'll grow old together, we'll grow old together, this old love will never, this old love will never die..." Lior.

After living in this godforesaken hole of a town for several months now, with no car until September, I've discovered the wonders of public transportation.

Firstly, let me say that I have nothing against public transportation. It's there for those of us who do not or can't afford a car, truck or motorised scooter. It is there for those who have no other alternative to get around. However, I have up until now, successfuly avoided this hideous way of life.

My first day of taking the bus down to Cairns was uneventful for the most part. The coach was fairly large and comfortable-looking. It was air-conditioned and generally in a good way. My first thought was a positive one. It was the only bus service that delievered people to and from Mareeba to Cairns, so whether I complained or not, I had no choice.

My first time however did not live up to it's first impression. I sat on the bus and looked around... as we started to take off, I noticed that the allocated windows to "break in an emergency" were violently wobbling... very reassuring. I was, at that moment, really glad I wasn't sitting near that window, although I don't know how lady sitting next to it could be oblivious to the window's involuntary movements. It was wobbling for goodness sake, how could anyone not notice it?!

Then as we rounded one of the first stops, we also rounded a curb - the back wheel hit it - ladies and gentleman, there went my bowels.

Then I noticed a couple of seats in front of me, a "special" fellow talking to nobody in particular. He began pointing at the landscape, and nodding in agreement mumbling about the magical way the land rises and falls. Then he attempted to look for some sort of curtain or shade to pull down on his window because the sun was blaring into his face. While he was fumbling for the non-existant shade cloth, he fingered the "emergency Stop Button" in which my heart skipped a beat; I was in no mood for delays of an accidental nature.

Then I noticed that everytime someone got on or off, the bus driver had to manually open and close the door with a stick. It wasn't a special stick - just looked like something he picked up at the local park.

Not long after my first real bus ride, I had to take a subus back to my dads place. I chose a decent looking seat and plonked myself down inadvertantly leaning against the wall... at which point I realised something was askew. The wall. I imagined how many people have leaned against this particular wall - all the skins types, oily, dry, dirty, the strange bacteria, diseases, germs ARGH!!! I immediately peeled my shoulder away from the wall and sat in the middle of my designated seat. I say 'peeled' because that is literally what I had to do. The sticky nature of the wall did nothing to alleviate my concerns or worst fears.

However, out of all the gross things about public transport there's one thing that I hate as much, if not moret: waiting for buses/taxi's and having randoms come up and talk to you.

For the record it is not a bar, I don't have "Pick Me Up I'm Desperate" tattooed on my forehead and I'm not throwing coy school girl looks in your general direction. Yes, I will help you with the bus times, but no I do not want to exchange names, numbers, hand shakes, clothes, or STD's! All I want to do at a bus stop is wait for the goddamn bus to arrive, and hope that my shoulder doesn't touch the wall or that my window is stationary. Is that too much to ask!?

Vally's Kitchen

2009-05-25T16:29:00.000-07:00

Just another old post I am transferring on to here :) Enjoy!

16 Sept 2007

"Do you feel like a man, when you push her around, do you feel better now as she falls to the ground"

I dont know who reads this, who's stalking me or who just stumbled across this accidentally and are frantically trying to exit this window for fear of their IQ dropping further. Let me save you the futile attempts of mouse clicking and tell you: THERE IS NO ESCAPE. *beams*

Cooking. Its by far the most stressful activity I've ever tried to accomplish. 'You've tried you're best and failed miserably, the lesson is: never try" I couldnt agree more with Homer Simpson. Of course he's is just a fictional cartoon character but those are words of wisdom I tell you! That's the sort of approach I've always taken to cooking. When you've set off fire alarms in your house and in other people's houses (apologies Jen for burning those four pieces of toast, I shall refrain from any cooking devices next time I visit you in Brisbane), burnt popcorn so badly to the bottom of the pan that you've had to secretly throw the saucepan out and feign polite confusion when you're mother is searching for the deceased cooking utensil; or have a terrible short attention span and forget that you are in fact actually cooking; one's hope in one's own cooking abilities are diminished to the smallest of embers.

I suppose it doesnt help when you're mother tells you with genuine concern that no man will have you because your cooking is a craptacular disaster; I'm suprised current other half is still with me, or indeed, hasnt run from the house screaming and pulling his hair out till he's as bald as a bald dog or rat.

But for the past three days, ladies and gentlemen, I have finally perfected bacon and eggs *puffs her chest out proudly* no way! I hear you cry. Yes way, I reply to you. I've finally learnt how to make myself a bacon and egg muffin AND I enjoyed it. Not only because nothing went nightmarishly wrong, but because it was edible and tasted really good. My mother even hugged me this morning and in her eyes, I saw a beacon of light - that there is hope for me yet and that she hasnt failed her duties as mother for not teaching her only daughter the basics of what women are traditionally responsible for: feeding the family with home cooked meals. *rolls eyes* hey man, I was just happy I could feed myself. Screw that traditional women crap. Thats what subway and red rooster are for if I'm a crappy cook.

So for those of you out there who sympathise with my struggle for cooking independence, there is hope. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and if you work at it, it should smell like a gourmet meal.

Deoderant: Friend or Foe?

2009-05-25T15:53:00.000-07:00

This is a blog I wrote ages ago on another blog of mine. However, I would like very muchly to cut down on the amount of blogs I have going simultaneously because otherwise I might self-destruct from updating overload. The reason I am posting it here, is becuase I want to keep them and share them on here as well... and while I'm doing that, I will be in the process of eliminating all other unecessary blogs. Heh.

24 Sept 2007

Song: "I like where we are, when we drive, in you car, I like where we are, here. I like where you sleep, when you sleep, next to me, I like when you sleep here."

For those of you that aren't stalking fanatics of yours truly (and for shame if you're not) I have a surplus. A surcharge. A plus one, if you will. My other half. Kapeesh? For those of you who haven't met him I will say just one sentence: He's had moments of blondeness that rival my own. And now I shall begin my little story of this Oh-So-Blonde other half of mine.

Deoderant. We all need it to fight our BO nemesis. Body odour if left without daily treatment can have disasterous results. As one wise Lozza had said about the new dentist at her work who doesnt wear deoderant: "It was so bad I walked into a room and forgot why I was there. It literally derailed my train of thought"

It IS a necessity and if you say it isn't you're a hippy. A goddamn tree huggin' hippy. Plain and simple. For the rest of us normal people (or the ones that are convinced that they are) deoderant is a must. It fights the pungent smells and abnormal obours that our sexy bodies emitt. It is our weapon of choice. Some use cologne or perfume, and that is just as good - but for those of us middle class citizens who think spending 50 dollars or more on a small bottle of perfume is daylight robbery, and still complain when we dish out the 4.95 we're asked to hand over for our Impulse bottle, the aerosole deoderants are the way to go.

Now boyfriend of mine is a hippy. (Hypocrite I hear you say?! "Pfft just listen to the damn story and stop interrupting!" I reply just as loudly) born and bred in the bushes of Kuranda and Speewah. And deoderant is a bit further down his list of must-haves. But girlfriend of his likes good smells, and convinces boyfriend (or threatens, same diff) into buying a nice deoderant for himself to make him un-hippy-fied. I let him choose his new smell - some sort of Mens Rexona - very nice mind you. After buying deoderant among other toiletries, we arrive home and I begin some trivial task (kicking the clothes back into my cupboard - very demanding if you ask me) when all of a sudden I hear a lot of cursing and screaming. It's my surplus.

BOYFRIEND: "Fucking cunt bastard aaaaarrrrgggghhhhh!" *holds head in his hands*
VALLY: *panicks* "Oh my god! Whats wrong bub you okay??!!!"
BOYFRIEND: *looks at me with bleary eyes* I was putting the lid on the deoderant and I accidentally sprayed my eye" :(
VALLY: *Stares* "Why the hell did you hold it up to your face?!"
BOYFRIEND: "... I wanted to see what would happen... "
VALLY: "Yeah well now you can't see anything in your right eye... are you okay we should get it checked out"
BOYFRIEND: *male ego kicks in* "Nah its ok, it's a little blurry but I can still see" *right eye twitches and waters up*
VALLY: *is torn between laughing at his stupidity and poking his other eye out as punishment*

Sigh. So in conclusion, deoderant is our weapon of choice against our disgusting human smells and yet we must also remember and reinforce that it is a WEAPON and must be used responsibly and carefully. Not suitable for children - the above was an example why.

Thank you for heeding this warning and handle your deoderants with care.

Introductions and First Impressions

2009-05-20T22:49:00.000-07:00

If you've clicked here looking to kill time, or if you've stumbled on here accidentally and are frantically hitting the Back button, do not fear. As long as you don't read past this paragraph whatever neurons you have left will be unspoilt. For those of you who dare to read on, I commend you - I also admire your courage, God Speed *salutes*.

Now, I'll be honest, because honesty is the best policy...unless of course your girlfriend asks you if her arse looks like it's got it's own gravitational orbit going on in a particularly grotesque outfit, then every man by now should either A: Lie, tell her she looks gorgeous, and then tell her to hurry up; or B: find your nearest exit and depart as fast as humanly possible - successfully avoiding that question like the plague!!!... Ahem. Where was I? Oh yes, honesty. Honestly I haven't the foggiest idea why I've started this blog. In true Seinfeld-style, this is a Blog about nothing. Absolutely nothing. Takes a lot of effort to produce something tangible from nothing.

I'm the kind of person who likes to air their opinion through written/typed text. Everyone needs to release themselves from the daily pressures of life; of reality. Now for those of you rolling in the gutter and thought of 'masturbation' as soon as I mentioned the releasing of oneself, I can only say that great minds think alike. That was the first thing that popped into my head and I'll confess, I giggled as I typed it.
Some may find release through, ahem, spanking the monkey as it were, others find release through jogging, drinking, drugs, sports, other nameless sexual activities, singing or just emmersing themselves in a good ole' book. I, prefer to blog.

So, there's the explanation for the existence of this Garble Blog. If you feel that by reading this post that you've wasted a good 7 or so minutes of your life and want it back, I'm afraid there are no refunds. You may perhaps, apply for a store credit by writing a letter in pink or purple glitter pen, and donating a liver in the process. For a speedy response I suggest you try pledging your first born, or reanacting your own version of the Lynx "Bow chicka wowow" ad.